So I was out a neighborhood bar with some friends tonight. Normally, my bar nights are peaceful and entertaining but tonight was a bit different. In the hour and a half that I was out there were 3 fights that almost broke out and I was involved with all of them in some form. First, my friend Chris' girlfriend got felt up by some random douchebag.
You know the type of drunk where your you almost look amphibious as your skin is basically shiny from oil, sweat, and god knows what else?
Yeah, so this guy feels her up and Chris goes after him. Chris is one of my best friends so ergo, I go after him too. Plus, I think people that pull shit like that are scum so I rather enjoy it. People are yelling, and getting all huffy and the owner comes and kicks Tipsy McGrab-Hands out the door. Then some guy tries stealing Matt's drink, and he calls Chris and I over to help him. Once again, guy get's kicked out. Lastly, some other random douche grabs Matt's girlfriend and runs off before anyone even knows what happened.
Also, I got lectured on the meaning of the word "Utilitarian" by somebody that A) had previously been dealt massive head trauma and gone through serious rehab and B) Had drank enough to put a small elephant into a coma. From what I can understand, it has something to do with a train, a gunman, and a train made of gunmen, and you throwing the track switch at the right time. Yeah, alcohol is awesome.
It's a classy bar, really. Bring the kids.
1 comment:
Where the hell were you and why wasn't I invited? I've never really been involved in a barfight so I am long overdue.
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