I'm going to be the prettiest butterfly!

My dress code is changing. This might seem like nothing to most of you, but to me this fact is rocking the very foundations of my being.

Anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I wear 3 things near constantly; jeans, T-shirt (usually with a band logo or offensive, yet funny slogans) and boots.

For those of you not in the loop, this is the standard uniform of the metalhead. you can tell our ranks by the amount of accessories...






















Observer #1-"Whoa, that guy has a leather vest AND a bullet-belt!"
Observer #2- "Yeah, he must be a general* or something"


*Observer #2 is correct. He's a 2 star Maiden General, serving in the Infernal army of his Liege Lord, King Diamond.







but I digress...

Last Saturday, I attended the Taste of Lincoln Park in Chicago with Traveler and her roomies. About 2 hours before we were to leave, I decided that I needed new clothes to wear as I'd been wearing the same ensemble for close to 2 days and was stinky

Out of nowhere, the thought of buying shorts bursts into my head and actually seemed like a great idea. This is an anomaly as I've owned maybe 3 pairs of shorts in the 28 years that I've been running around on this floating mudball, and I didn't like wearing a single pair of them. Now though, I'm pumped at the idea. So off to the store we went but which store to choose from?

"How about Old Navy?" queries Traveler

Now in the past the suggestion of Old Navy would have made me laugh out loud and question the suggester's intelligence and or upbringing in a crude manner but....



A) It's my girlfriend suggesting it and she would probably deliver a blow to my crotch that I would surely deserve but more importantly
B)...it felt....right.




Here follows an epic Braveheart-esque battle of thoughts in my brain-melon directly after this suggestion is made.

New Dan: "Hmm, Old Navy. That stuff is pretty affordable and nice looking."
Old Dan: " Do they have anything with skulls? No? Fuck."
ND: "Yeah, we'll go there. I think I remember them having those nifty cargo shorts!"
OD: "Why in the hell would we want cargo shor...wait..did you just say Nifty? What the fuck is going on here?!"
ND: "Ooh, you know what? I'm getting some flip flops too!"
OD: " NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! "


Just imagine the clanging of axes and the smell of sweaty horses behind that....


Told you; Epic.


So all in all, I ended up buying those cargo shorts and flip flops. I shut the Old Me up for a bit by buying a camo shirt, which can be metal as all hell if used properly. Truth is, this has been happening for a bit now. I routinely go through my clothes and, when deciding what to wear, will skip stuff that I used to love.

I've got this one shirt that says "Jesus Slaves" on it that I used to love wearing out and about. No, see it's really clever. They took the saying "Jesus Saves" and then...Oh, nevermind. I don't even get excited talking about it anymore.

I guess this is me growing up finally. While I should be happier, as I know I look better in more "stylish" clothing, I feel a tinge of sadness when I look at what I can only describe as a familiar skin with so many fond memories attached and realize that it doesn't quite fit me anymore.




I'd sit here and cry more, but there's a sale at H&M.

I Really Should Do Something About This Mess...

It's been some time since I've updated this thing. So much has changed, I really don't know where to begin so I guess I'll start with the new job. I previously worked at a local machine shop, doing odds and ends. Basic labor really. It would have been a job that I, had I put in any hours, would have come home tired and dirty from.

Alas, I'm lazy.

There really wasn't anything to do there except clean. Now, I'm a fan of clean working environments. It was always made sure that bathrooms, work-areas, and some storage areas were tidy 90% of the time. Where my logic told me to rethink my current state is when I would be told to clean up something there that hadn't been touched in 20 years and, with the exception of my hands, would remain so with no problems. I saw this as a waste of my employers money, and my time.


So I looked around and sent out some resumes, to the end result of being hired by a lighting division as Head of "QA and Auditing". This is a nifty churched up title for "Head of Walking Around With A Clipboard and Checking to Make Sure None of Our Pickers Have Messed Up the Order"

No, it doesn't come with a name-tag. Though if it did, I'd prefer the latter title to the former.

Thus far, I really enjoy it. The shift starts a bit early, at 5 am, though I get out at 1:15 pm to an open day that is mine to spend how I see fit. I work with mostly ex-cons and alcoholics, so there is never a shortage of stories to hear or live, and I get a guaranteed full time week which is more than a lot of people in America today can say for themselves.

I'm currently dating a wonderful girl, dubbed Traveler by a fellow blogger. Traveler is just that and has seen more of the world than I think I'll ever get to see and is wise beyond her years. She's smart, sweet, kind, hot, supportive, sexy, beautiful, funny, and a whole slew of other positive adjectives.

In other words; she's pretty keen and she says "cannae" a lot from living in Scotland for 4 years, which I find all sorts of adorable.

With 4th of July just passing, I'm led to wonder how one gets the job of blowing off professional fireworks. I would guess there would be liscensing involved but of what kind and, more importantly, where would I go about getting one. Just watching the displays yesterday made me think. I looked around and saw people of all colors and ages watching as the night lit up in a myriad of colors, smiles on their faces, awe in their eyes. I think we all connected on this most cherished of American holidays, with the same thought running through our heads. Nay, before you jump to any conclusions about it being something so cliche as "I'm proud to be an American!, or God Bless America! I have to say it's something deeper than that, something like....

"Man, I want to blow shit up."

If you were looking for some patriotic nonsense, I guess we could throw in "Screw England!" but really, I'm guessing a majority of young Americans don't even know why this is a holiday anymore.